So my birthday came around at the end of April. Like everyone born at this time of year, 2020 didn’t quite bring the birthday I had planned for.
I’d wanted to spend my birthday with Tom and then go out with all my friends, but now I’d be at home, unable to see anyone and definitely not Tom. When I found out I was going to be back in Manchester for my birthday, I was grateful that I’d be able to spend time with my family- that was a silver lining. I was lucky to spend my 19th with my family, who went above and beyond. I had hundreds of the kindest messages from people from all areas of my life, but a hug from Tom was missing.
Tom and his family sent me the most beautiful gift, which I opened in bed that morning. Tom had had a broken night’s sleep, so I actually woke up to a message from him. In the afternoon I rang Tom, I was so happy to talk to him, as usual, but it still wasn’t the ideal. The ideal isn’t always the goal, but it did cross my mind that it could be the only birthday I get to share with Tom, but my memories from this one would be a bit different to what I’d hoped.
So 10 days later it’s Tom’s birthday. Before everything started with Tom and the world, we had spoken about going away together for a joint birthday treat.
It took me a while to think of a gift for him if I’m honest; something that encapsulated how much I love him, but also something that he would use and appreciate. I decided to make Tom a photo album/ scrapbook type thing. I got his family and friends in on it, collected pictures from when he was little until now and asked for messages and memories from his friends which I included. This book wasn’t about me, it was about how loved Tom is and how many people appreciate him.
This took about a week, but it was more therapeutic for me than I expected. Yes, I cried and got angry at myself when bits of it weren’t perfect, but it did so much good for me. By making it, I learnt even more about Tom, saw pictures of him throughout his life and opened a dialogue with his friends. His friends appreciated this just as much as Tom would when he opened it, but to me it was overwhelming as to how loved he is.
On his birthday, all his friends, family and nurses came and sang him happy birthday on the road with balloons. I only got to see the video, but it has touched everyone that has seen it, especially me. I spoke to Tom on the phone afterwards, he was overwhelmed; I think it took him and his family a good few days to emotionally recover from all the kindness they were shown that day.
I reminded Tom that everyone showed their love that day, but only because they feel it every day. When he woke up the next day, he would be just as loved as on his birthday.
Tom’s now 20, I’m 19, but everything else is the same. We’re still in the same situation, we still love each other and we’re still 150 miles apart.
Evie